August 23, 2006 7:41 PM Wednesday, Jacksonville, Florida           

 

Disenchanted

I am very disappointed when I call off my trip to Michigan yesterday. You all know I am so looking forward for this chance to bond with Lani and her kids but the unexpected happened and I run out of leave time. I am sorry Lan, believe me I feel so bad for not making it at this time.

Gosh! Just found out yesterday also that Lani had even lined up a big surprised party (with lechon pa!) for me, Ate G, Judy ni Wally and the rest of her good friends in the neighborhood and other adjoining state. Now I know how much my presence and friendship mean to Lani ;-) I wish there is something I can do to make this trip happen especially that my round trip plane ticket is already paid off and it’s non-refundable. Sayang!

Lan, you are one of the very few real friends that I treasured so much even though I haven’t gotten that much luck yet to bond with you in person. Rest assured that as soon as I build up enough leave for me to take off work, I will definitely be pushing through this trip towards the end of this year or beginning of next year. I promise.


A Big Eye Opener

The unexpected death of Duane is a big eye opener for me. A lot of important things that we take for granted hit me in the head and enforced me to get some very important legal documents done ASAP. First thing I did right after I came back from Montana was, called the lawyer to make an appointment to do our estate plan.  I’ll talk more about that matter in detail next time I get a chance to gather my thoughts and get my act together.

Words of Wisdom

The very reason my darling husband and mother-in-law persuaded me to learn how to drive, go back to school, get a decent job and get myself fully acclimated in this country before having a family of our own is that if something happens to them (God forbids), I still would be able to withstand the storms, stand on my own feet and live off comfortably with my own income.

August 11, 2006 6:46 PM Friday, Jacksonville, Florida           

 

Oh, my GOD!!!

Please pray for the repose of the soul of Duane Fuller, husband of Edith Gatdula-Fuller.

Most of all, let's keep Edith and also her 4 year old daughter, Norma, in prayer that they’ll have the strength and courage to carry this greatest pains/sufferings in their lives. May Edith be able to reach deep down into her spiritual resources and with the grace of our compassionate God she’ll find the will power and faith to bravely face the future without her husband. 

Edith is like a sister to me. We used to teach in the same school and lived in the same boarding house in the Philippines for many years. She’s only been here in the states married to Duane for 5 years. Edith is 34 and Duane is 47 years old.

I am bawling my heart’s out feeling her pains to a great extent. Anyway, I’ll be flying out to California tomorrow morning. My darling husband suggested for me to go with Edith to Montana (Duane’s clan resides in Montana) for the funeral which means I’ll probably be staying out there for a week or so.

Duane, Edith and Norma Fuller
Photo was taken during our most recent trip in San Francisco, California last February 2006

More  photos here during my first visit in California in 2004

P.S.
Lanie and Lesley, I'll give you a call sometime next week if there is a change in my schedule.

August 9, 2006 7:16 PM Wednesday, Jacksonville, Florida           

Hot! Hot!! Hot!!!

Summer here in the States is unbelievably scorching! This year we have been hit hard by the heat wave: prolonged period of excessive heat combined with excessive humidity. Most parts of the US have been slammed with a triple digit temperature since the last few days of July thus causing a number of lives to pass away due to heat exhaustion and dehydration.

At least here in the northern part of Florida, we are still experiencing the mid 90’s temp although there were few times last week that our heat index hit 102^oF or 38^oC. Heat index: A number in degrees Fahrenheit (F) that tells how hot it really feels when relative humidity is added to the actual air temperature.

I am just so grateful for the centralized heating and cooling systems in our home but hell our electric bill last month was a whopping $248 as opposed to $171 in the prior month and that’s just keeping the thermostat to 77^oF or 25^oC, 7 days a week, 24 hours a day. So last night, my very handy dandy man, DH was able to replace our manual thermostat with the digital programmable thermostat that he bought from Home Depot. Now we can conveniently program to set the thermostat to be lower or higher for different time periods of the day especially when we are typically not at home. It says this programmable thermostat could save us up to 30% on our energy bills. We’ll find out next month if there is truth to this claim.

At work, I used to park in an open/uncovered area in downtown for only $30 a month but every time I get off work at 5PM and hop in to my car; the first few minutes’ sensation is like I am being roasted in the oven despite turning the car A/C right away to its highest setting.  I can't take this heat any longer. So last week, I decided to pay $20 more extra per month just to get a covered parking space inside the building garage, about 3 blocks away from my office. I am still paying considerably less compared to most people who work in downtown area. Imagine this one parking garage in close proximity to MODIS building is charging a minimum of $101 per month for one covered parking space and it could go up to $155 a month if you prefer reserved parking. I guess some people wouldn’t mind paying that much money for their comfort. I’d rather walk 3 blocks away just to save $100+  every month. I mean it’s not that I walk directly under the heat of the sun but I guess to each his own.

Baby Shower Party for Lesley Marie Pettus

Next weekend before I fly to Michigan, I will be hosting a baby shower party for Lesley with more or less 30 Pinays in our guest list. I am not sure how are we going to fit in my mid-size house though. I have yet to meet and talk to half of this group in person but I suppose these Pinays are all cow girls anyways. I also made a public pronouncement that this party is going to be strictly no kids, no husbands! Don’t get me wrong. I love kids and all but I can’t seem to put myself at peace knowing there are more than a handfuls of super animated kids to mind whenever their moms get so engrossed with their tête-à-tête with kapwa pinays.

August 1, 2006 6:27 PM Tuesday, Jacksonville, Florida           

 

Solo Flight

Hard to believe that August is already here!

Nonetheless, I am raring to go because my round trip plane ticket for this month’s getaway has been confirmed and is now in my hand. Yaay! I am excited to spend a 10-day summer vacation with my kindhearted friend, Lanie P and her family in Michigan. Hopefully, I would, at the same time, get a chance to eyeball with other online friends especially Ate G from Ohio and also meet up for the second time around with my humorous and vibrant newly found phone pal, Judy ni Wally from Chicago ;-)

DH, on the other hand, is grinning ear to ear as he is again looking forward to lead a bachelor life for the next 10 days. That means he can have a bottle of beer or two every night; enjoys his quiet time alone and best of all, he is totally free from the honey-do-list from his demanding wife. That explains why every couple needs a breather from each other once in a while eh?

Doesn’t that feel so good though to, despite being married we still get to enjoy the freedom and lifestyle of a single person once in a while? Although I doubt if I would still be able to do the same had we have kids. Maybe not.

Believe it or not, as a young as 15 years old, I already acquired a great sense of responsibility, freedom and independence. I guess although I am the third child in the family, I matured earlier than my two older siblings besides the fact that I am much clever than either of the two ;-). So there my parents didn’t really pay close attention to what I do on a day-to-day basis. They even trusted me to take over the head of the household whenever they're out of town for couple of days or week. More so, I was left alone to develop my own personality, make the right decision and learn from my own mistakes.

However, the pay-off of having that lack of restrictions at a younger age was, I felt like I have not gotten as much attention and love I have always wanted from my parents although I know they are not at all showy of their affection to us. Consequently, I become one of those hopeless romantic individuals and have come to revere couples’ stories that only end up in “and they live happily ever after”. But "happily ever after" for me means marrying a man, who would shower me with much TLC yet respects, trusts and gives me the freedom to do stuff on my own much like my parents did during my single-blessedness life. The only piercing words I ever heard straight from my father’s lips at one point were: “Don’t you ever dare to get yourself laid by a man before the wedding; or worst get pregnant without a man to stand behind you otherwise you are going to lament the day you were born in this world. So anytime you want to get married, it doesn’t matter what your age is, all I ever ask from you is to let the guy appear in front of me so we could at least have a man-to-man talk. I wouldn’t mind what his situation in life is, may he be older than me; young enough to be your son; or may he be the most unfortunate man in the human race; but for long as you love each other and he promised to never lay his hands on you, I am perfectly ok with that.”

You see, I may have considered my father to be the most reckless man in the world but he devotedly, faithfully loves and never ever hit my mom in their entire 45 years of marriage now. I guess that’s because my mom also swears in front of him before the wedding that the minute—the very first time she gets hurt physically or catches him with another woman, their life together is over and no amount of love and make up can ever bond them again. She even got the last word for him: “The worst that can happen is, God forbids, we either end up in jail or in the graveyard.” They sure both hold on to their words because they are still married at this point in time. My father is now 68 and mom is 64 years old. Together they produced 11 kids + few miscarriages. I just wish my mom didn’t tolerate my father’s yelling to begin with. That’s one of the most awful things in their marriage. Whenever their argument gets stirred up; it doesn’t matter who’s at fault, my father would always resort to barking at the top of his lungs to the point where it sometimes awakens the whole neighborhood from slumber while my mom picks her battle by sobbing without reprisal. Poor wife! I snorted. I told myself before that if ever I get married someday, there’s no way in hell I would ever tolerate that kind of crap from my husband!

At 33, as I kneeled in front of the altar, there is no doubt in my mind and heart that the man I am going to tie the knot with is a dream comes true!

Let me spill the secret words of wisdom that keep our wedded bliss, well, blissful.

For nearly 7 years of marriage, I never recall an instance where DH yelled at me; dictates or forbids me to do or what not to do with my life. He usually expresses his own opinion about the matter but respects my own judgment and allows me to make decisions for myself yet gives me love, comfort and support whenever I need it. God, I do love this man to death.

Now, if the issue pertains to our life together as couple, that’s different. We both have to complement or resolve to find a win-win solution although knowing the nature of my persona—being the haggler plus I have this penchant to hover around him, the end result seemed to favor with me most of the times. My mother-in-law, on the contrary, considers that tactic of mine as simply manipulation. Did she just imply I am a great manipulator? You bet she did but she loves me regardless.

My marriage is not by far perfect but it’s been what I have dreamed it to be. DH and I have petty arguments once in a while mostly on how we do things differently at home and I sometimes get on his nerves with his bad eating habits but we certainly argue in a more gracious way. Sex and money is by no means the object of the argument. Not that we have fantastic sex every night. LOL Who does anyway? Yeah sure, if you are newly wed couple I wouldn’t dispute that. That twice a day meal with midnight snacks?!? ;-) Done that too and loving it to the max. LOL But I mean in this day and age, we all know that as we, women in particular, get older and after being married for quite sometime, more so if there are kids involved, the physical intimacy let alone our sexual fantasies and libidos are slowly going to past its best or peak. The passion that was once hot and irresistible eventually subsides into an ordinary thing to do. At least in my marriage, after all these years, we still have that fanaticism and devotion to cuddle up if we are too tired to make love, pray and profess our eternal love for each other before going to bed every single night. I am also so relieved by the fact that nowadays, just like me, DH also favors the idea of quality love making over quantity of sex. I am telling you; sometimes the once-a-week of quality love making is worth more than the nightly quickies ;-) Yet it still shocked me sometimes to hear how many couples here in the states broke up and got a divorce after 10+ years of marriage just because the other spouse can no longer excites or satisfies the other half’s sexual needs? I am like so what ever happened to their commitment/vows: “for better or worst; in richer or poorer 'til death do us part” at their wedding?!? Is marriage all about lust and sex? I don’t quite get it.

Folks, I really do pray that my marriage won’t end this way. The one ardent wish I have in my marriage is that when my youthful charms are utterly gone, body are all stooped, cares and lessons have left their traces; my DH would still love me the same. And that our physical intimacy would give way to the greatest charm of companionship. God knows I can’t live alone by myself; not even with the great company of cats and dogs. I am an extrovert type yah know that means I need a human being to live with me or even just share a meal or a space with me in the same house I dwell.

Anyway, my next year’s solo trip would be in Los Angeles, California to witness Sister Sonia Delima’s final vows as a nun. Sister Sonia used to work as an assistant Campus Minister in Notre Dame of Cotabato Inc., the school where I used to teach in the Philippines. We’ve known each other for 15 years but I’d never thought she’s that serious to become a nun until I spoke to her couple of weeks ago. Although yesterday, she jokingly told me that if I hook her up with a man having the same qualities like my darling husband, she’d rather get hitched than take the vows to become a nun ;-)